Zombiefication

The pigeon is back. And he brought a friend.

I like to imagine that he’s bringing home a special someone, his pigeon beau. And I’m the terrifying in-law this new pigeon has to impress.

I have to admit, upon seeing these two birds perched on my sill, I promptly began filming a Snapchat video, narrating my encounter like an Australian guide. (Sadly, I can’t do accents.)

The last time I saw my pigeon, I was searching desperately for work. Now, I have not one but two jobs.

I’m not the type of person to cannonball into the deep end. I’m the shuddering idiot in the shallow end, standing on tiptoes on the third step.

When I signed on for an internship, I thought was would wade slowly into a job. I knew it would be hard — the hours of taking orders, the time spent sitting, the overall shock of having my personal time cut down to scant hours between dinner and sleep.

Two days a week would be a way to acclimate myself.

Now I’m working practically seven days a week at two different jobs. On my day off, I did laundry and went grocery shopping.

When people try to have conversations with me, I’ve started making dying cow noises, and not just in the morning.

So maybe part of me is proud that, interpersonal issues aside, I’m surviving. A little Hyperbole and a Half logic.

Allie Brosh just gets me. Also, check out her blog. It’s amazing.

How much longer until I hit “system failure?” Today I got home from work, watched an episode of Doctor Who, and then proceeded to cook dinner, clean up dinner, vacuum my apartment, and balance my digital checkbook.

I have the self-deprecating stories from work, but I just don’t have the time to tell them.

Hopefully I’ll slowly adjust, like maybe training for a marathon. Does this mean I can consume more calories? But for now, I just feel like a zombie, dragging my feet and groaning at people.

Forming coherent sentences is exhausting.

I will say this: two hours on register, and a pre-teen already asked to purchase Fifty Shades of Grey. At my other job, I learned how to use the copier today but was still thwarted by my voicemail.

But I still haven’t gotten to the important questions. Like when can I take books from my internship. And for my retail job, what’s the music situation??